The San Francisco rock band Karma Sutro has been rumored to be a front for the notorious criminal organization of the same name.
From the FBI’s most wanted:
Maxwell “Staxwell” Rayhill:
“Fuck you. Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you too. Uh….. Your cool and finally fuck you.” Was all we got while trying to interview lead singer Maxwell Rayhill as he was carted off earlier this week in police handcuffs. Eye witness accounts allege the singer and guitarist was arrested this time for repeated felonious noise violations. There are rumors he may be tied to organized crime through his “band” Karma Sutro. Since the reports of his initial arrest he has escaped and has been eluding capture. He is likely armed and highly dangerous and it is inadvisable for you to attempt to apprehend him alone. The authorities would ask that all civilians help us bring this “band” to justice by attending all events organized by or affiliated with Karma Sutro. Thank you very much.
Ian Conway:
Lead guitarist Ian Conway started playing the guitar seriously as a teenager, and attended Musicians Institute in Hollywood as a guitar performance major briefly before dropping out because, “it wasn’t rock and roll enough”. After being committed at several mental health facilities for being, “too rock and roll”, Ian joined forces with a rag-tag gang of criminals and degenerates to from the outfit known as “Karma Sutro”. His guitar playing is soulful yet technical and his influences include Jimi Hendrix, John Frusciante and, “the sound of the heavens and earth colliding!”
Arya “51” Zarrinkelk:
Bassist Arya Zarrinkelk is a force to be reckoned with. At the tender age of 4, Arya began training with the Iranian secret police SAVAK learning how to make grown men cry, merely by raising an eyebrow. Recently Zarrinkelk was requested by Karma Sutro to come and play bass in America. After countless beatings and interrogations at the hands of the CIA, the FBI, and the NSA, Zarrinkelk was cleared to rock in the States. He currently is melting faces and winning hearts through his on stage dancing and sweating. In order to make ends meet, he has nationalized his beard oil to export to the highest bidder.
Past:
Sean “Alpha” Hall:
Little is known about keyboardist Sean M. Hall (his aliases also include , ‘Matt Mangels’, ‘Alpha’, and ‘Trashman’). He comes from a shadowy past and is rumored to have been raised in the city dump. He has spent the last decade and a half behind a piano, briefly emerging only to ride his bike or post the occasional embittered screed on Facebook. He was recruited by the San Francisco based criminal organization Karma Sutro because of his keyboard prowess, and subsequently rose through the ranks to become a member of the inner circle. Sean’s tenure with the band was cut tragically short when he was killed by a pack of rabid wolves eating his genitals.
Evan “Pickles” Smith:
Evan “Pickles the Drummer” Smith is an American jet-ski racer, philosopher, and percussionist. Smith left the band in 2016. While the drummer made a statement saying that a life of crime wasn’t for him, and that he would only use his drums, “for good” and no longer, “for evil”, it is rumored that he was forced to go into hiding after attacking a rival band with a drumstick during a Karma Sutro show.